True but thats because hes a fetus.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Randomize
