My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
