wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
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