I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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