Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
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