I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
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