u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
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