Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
