kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
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