He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
