I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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