I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
