I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I'm drunk eating a quesadilla while this kid is tryina come over and I'm just like no. I want the quesadilla.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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