it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
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