do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
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I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
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I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
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