Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
