I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
