Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
