I swear she didn't look like that last week.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
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