I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
