I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
