Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
