your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
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