I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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