no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
