It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
