we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
