You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
