Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
