Will you blow on my dice?
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
