Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
