There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I need moral support for this bender
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
