brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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