who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I have post one night stand depression
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
