wrigley field is MILF paradise
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He better not be in your backpack
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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