I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
All the doctor said was why
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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