im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize