he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
where am i from again
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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