he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
