I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
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