There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
