I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Rumble strips road head = magical
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Randomize
