Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
