Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
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she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
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