Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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