Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Randomize