i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize
