worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Randomize