I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
