my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
... don't judge me
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep