Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
Randomize