I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
