I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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