Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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