Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
