Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
Sober January is a disaster.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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