I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
My pussy is not your playground.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
