So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
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